“Feel the fear & do it anyway” & other lies we have been told

I have heard the echo of a memory of a sweet little 7-year-olds voice echoing through my head as I have stood at the end gate waiting for my turn to show or felt anxious before teaching a class.

“Believe in yourself. Beeeeelieve in yourrrrrrself!”

I had a schedule I would follow when I taught summer camp years ago…

On the first day, I would teach the kids the importance of having the belief that they could do anything.

I mean, just imagine how excited a group of little people under 10 is to learn about motivation lol- they were not impressed & very ready to eat popsicles & ride horses …

Each day of camp we would get to the good stuff of riding horses & learning a riding skill (like steering & going forward) so by Friday we would invite the parents & the kids would show off their mad skills & ride through a little obstacle course by themselves.

This particular week one of my students was a precious little girl who cheered all her fellow campers on as they rode the obstacle course for the parents…

“Beeeeelieve in yourrrrrrself! “

she would scream at the top of her lungs for each one. We were all cracking up but I never forgot it.

I know better than to be nervous, I have been a coach for years, I teach this stuff for pete’s sake.

But I have been there, practically shaking in my boots many times.

You see fear creeps in on us as riders in many forms.

✔ For some of us it’s the fear of judgment from our peers

✔ Some of us have been badly injured in a fall

✔ And sometimes we just fear we aren’t doing things right or not being fair to our horse.

Me as your coach and friend, yelling “believe in yourself” is not going to be enough to really help you, unless I also give you the skills/tools to dissolve & dissipate whatever it is that has got you worried.

So, my tip for today is a little saying Charlotte & I came up with last week.

That gives a solution to a lie we have been told time and time again…

Don’t “feel the fear and do it anyway”.

Feel the fear AND SOLVE IT.

Get to the root of it.

Whether it is your fear or your horse’s fear.

Whether you rate it as a 1 on a scale of 1-10 or a full-blown 10.

Once you figure out what it is that has you rattled, 99.99999% of the time you can create something to put into practice to create a solution.

Just like if you know your horse is scared of something, you create a path for the horse to learn to accept it- where it becomes nothing to them.

(More on that next week)

Little fears buried unaddressed add up to a BIG problem. Big explosions in our horses and BIG anxiety and lack of confidence in us.

So, put a name to it, put a plan together of what you are going to do about it, then do a step each day until you can face the obstacle at the end of the week.

Then when you have the skills and the foundation to set the wind beneath your wings… if you still feel fear- and you name the fear- for example, “fear of judgment”.

Then you do it anyway. It keeps you safer.

Make sense?

I hope that gives you some confidence just in knowing, with horses, a lot of times the advice “feel the fear & do it anyway” is a big fat lie, and a dangerous one at that.

If this is something you really struggle with, don’t let it hold you back any longer! Grab  “The Ride Fear-lessly Blueprint” Mini Workshop  a $97 value for only $7

This is for you if…
If you have ever gotten hurt, or you are afraid of getting hurt, and you know that fear of putting your foot back in the stirrup, where you stand there frozen, mustering up every bit of courage to get on, and hoping with every bit of your being your horse will behave.

If you doubt yourself or are stuck in analysis paralysis, ready to push forward with your horse but just feel unsure of yourself and worried that you are possibly forcing her to do something she doesn’t want to do, makes her unhappy or maybe even causing her to get hurt or sick.

If you have a nagging fear of being judged by your family, friends and fellow equestrians for the way you ride or the way your horse behaves, sitting on the proverbial rail, not inside the ring of life, thinking you are not enough, that you don’t have what it takes.

The no-fluff to the point roadmap you need to stop wishing things will get better & create an action plan to fight the hundreds of what-if questions popping into your head that hold you back with your horses

Feel the fear and solve it! You got this!


Here are some posts we highly recommend for your reading pleasure.


I’m Jen.

Most days you will find me with a coffee in one hand, hot pink manure pick in the other with my mind bubbling over dreaming up ways to help my horse girl sisters find their true selves & ride their best life every. single. day.


Equestrian Confidence Toolbox


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