Do you feel like the nice horse gal who has more stress in her life because you want to help others, worry how people feel, and perhaps put the wants and needs of others ahead of your own?
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! (Though it may feel that way at times)
This seems to be a HUGE struggle, for horse gals, and all gals in life.
What We are Taught
We are taught in school to not be selfish, care about the feelings of others, and go out of our way to make other people feel good……..yet in reality what is that teaching??
It is teaching us to put the wants and needs of others above our own. (ok, that sounds like a good virtue) Well, if we are giving ourselves away, and overlooking our own happiness and what we want for ourselves in the process……then that is not what we should be teaching.
Your Needs and Wants
It has taken me 30+ years to understand that it is okay to put your own needs and wants ahead of others. It is okay to voice your opinion on what it is you need for you in your life to be happy…..but the problem is, I struggle with this on a DAILY basis still. There are times that I wish for just moments, I could be one of the people who can care only about how a situation will be for them, and not worry about how that feels, disappoints, lets someone else down, etc.
It is BALANCE….. the balance of putting what you need into words and deciding how a situation feels to you first and then coming from a place of love, compassion and truth for you. (This is so much harder for me than I can even explain at times.)
I want everyone around me to happy, and never want to let anyone down. But I have to remind myself…… that it is not my job, nor can I make anyone feel anything no matter how badly I wish I could. It is up to everyone to feel how they feel, even if differently than myself, and create their own happiness. I can not be responsible for anyone’s happiness but myself….and yet so many times I let my own happiness slip to the side, in an effort to make someone else feel better, and in the end I end up feeling worse, and so does the other person a lot of the times.
So, what does this article have to do with anything about horses, horse gals, or even you? I feel, as horse gals we are either one of two ways;
1.- SUPER STRONG – and can put what you want ahead of anyone else. You can voice and stick to your guns 100 percent and know what it is you need for you. (I must give you horse gals credit who live in this space.) You have no problem saying what it is you need for you and that is great! You see how different situations will be in your life, and make your decisions on what is the best direction for you.
2.- OVER CARING- because horses are your passion, your soul, your drive, you have an emotional stake in all things horse related. (Again, this is wonderful) but finding balance in your life, saying what it is you need for yourself, and feeling over responsible for the way the people feel around you is a struggle!!! A big struggle. It is hard to feel selfish, or carve out your on time and needs. (This is where I live most of the time.)
Which one are you?
Knowing where you are helps you to shift anything you need to. I have made myself a promise today, that I will CREATE A LIFE I LOVE. Though this will be an everyday commitment to myself, to shift how I feel and look at things, I am making it to myself. I am making this for myself, my family and for happiness.
We can only control how WE feel, and the choices that WE make in our lives. We can not control how other people respond or react to that, but knowing that is their stuff and not our own makes it feel easier.
I am making the commitment TODAY, RIGHT NOW, that I will change my outlook and move forward to finding the space that feels right to ME, and only ME, as that is the only person I can control, or in truth worry about.
If you are one of the people, like me, who struggles with putting your wants, needs and life ahead of others….than please join me, today in deciding that you will take steps to make changes.