“Breathe and know that you already have everything you need.”
– Suzanne Hanna
These skills are the six essential aspects to living an authentic and connected life with yourself.
That is right, these are the ideas to remember in building your relationship with yourself as well as building relationships with others.
How you treat yourself and how you connect with others is crucial in finding your joy in life.
These are the basic principles to begin to incorporate into your life in all aspects.
Live these in your life and you will see stronger relationships, and more joyous moments with yourself.
Enjoy, and remember to slowly become of aware of these six principles.
Then add them into your life and hold the space longer and longer until it becomes second nature.
The Six Secret Essentials for Emotional Clarity:
1. Emotions need to be seen as a gift that everyone has and receives. It is our body’s way of sending us messages through our emotions.
Begin to listen to your body and emotions and recognize that emotions are there to guide you if you will listen and begin to bring awareness to each emotion and how it feels in your body.
2. Learn to sit with uncomfortable emotions, without panicking, and get the information behind the emotions. Honor what you are feeling while it is still small and before it escalates into unhealthy levels.
Try to begin to acknowledge when you feel an emotion and try to catch it while it is still small.
You want to get the message and work through the emotion while it is still small and before it can grow to a bigger manifestation. So listen.
A great example is if your eye begins to twitch due to a stress you are focusing on or stressing about.
You ignore that and keep your focus on the negative and stress and keep pushing through.
An hour later you have such a severe migraine that you must take medicine and lay down to get relief.
You ignored your body’s early warning system so it escalated to force you to find a release to stop focusing on the stressful situation.
3. Seeing “misbehavior” as a form of communication. Look to a deeper meaning behind the behavior when someone acts out.
Don’t take it personally when someone acts out or perhaps blows up around you.
It usually is something altogether different that is going on for them and you happened to be taking the brunt for it.
For example you have had a stressful day at work and you come home to your husband making a mess in the kitchen.
You get angry and take out on him all the frustration for the day.
Honor where someone else is at and how they are feeling and don’t take on their stuff or take it personally.
4. Understanding the shared emotion: distinguishing between instructive personal feelings, conditioned (Inner Critic) emotional patterns, projection and taking on the feelings of others.
With this paragraph are many different parts and patterns.
First let’s identify the emotion that you feel and replace a negative feeling emotion with a more positive emotion.
What is a thought that is just one step up the ladder out of the negative and closer to the positive?
Alternatively, when we identify what it is we do not want then we can often more easily identify what it is we do want and take a couple steps closer to reaching that.
We call this emotional agility and emotional scale.
The conditioned response or Inner Critic is the voice we hear that may be patterns we have been conditioned to think from others in our life.
Such things society or parents have led us to believe or placed their personal experiences on to us.
For example my grandparents told me you don’t ever listen or buy anything from the sales people that call you on the phone for they are always as scam.
This maybe correct, or perhaps it is not correct but that is a conditioned response I hear my inner critic pipe up and tell me every time I am on the phone with a sales person.
That Inner Critic is also that self-voice of doubt, fear and concern that again is not really our voice and we must turn that Inner Critic off to reach where we need to be emotionally and mentally. For example every time we say “should”, it is our inner critic trying to make us feel guilty or do something we really don’t want to do for us. We must learn to begin to recognize the Inner Critic and cast off the Inner Critic to begin to hear ourselves.
For example; I should go back to school.
I should get a better job,
I should try harder to keep a neater house
I should control my weight
These are all false self or Inner Critic ideas. They are not you -you can do and think and feel anything you want!! Tell your Inner Critic you don’t want to hear it; and find the voice that honors you.
5. Resist the temptation to aggressively “fix” people, horses, uncomfortable situations, etc. Learn how to honor someone right where they are and to know ‘Just being with someone’ is helpful.
Think of when you are upset what your dog, cat, horse, animal does for you.
If you are crying and upset your pet will come and sit with you.
They will just be with you and share that space and moment.
They do not tell you what you should have done different, how to fix the situation or even that everything will be ok.
Your animal can just be with you and bring comfort by sharing the space.
We as people need to work on perfecting that idea.
Try to bring awareness when someone is upset or having a bad day and instead of telling them what to do or how to fix it or even going into their space by bringing yourself down to feeling bad with them, instead, just be. Start to practice that and not only will you feel better but so will the other person. Just sit with them and not have to “fix” or help in anyway. You stay in your energy and space and allow them the same.
Dropping down from your energy of happy or joy to be down with anger, sadness or grief does nothing for either of you…..except lower your spot on your emotional scale.
6. Create a psychological container of support, holding the sacred space of possibility that each person will find their inner path to well being. Knowing that each person has exactly what they need within themselves when they look to find their best selves. This form of patience helps us and others as we all work towards connecting with our Authentic Self.
Remember that two people can be in the same place, witness the same event but the experience be totally different for each person.
For example a car accident happens with five witnesses.
When the police interview each of the five witnesses each one has a different account of what they remember and how they remember the accident happening. Not one is right or one is wrong, it is just human nature that we all interpret and process differently. So remember that, and what may be your truth and what seems so matter of fact to you may feel totally different for someone else. That is OK, and that is what makes us all so individual. There is no right or wrong or the idea we all must feel the same.
Become aware of how you speak, such as “for me that felt” or “for me it was” that way you honor the other people and what differences there might be.