Warning realness ahead...
My dirty little secrets
& how they can help you...
This is hard and embarrassing to share,
but you need to know the whole truth.
Unless you know where I started,
you won’t understand the power
of what I am going to share with you
and know that I can help you because I have been there.
I know what it is like to struggle with my horse (& in life!)
I know what is like to want so badly to connect with my horse and not know how.
I know what it is like for my horse to take advantage of me (spin around and buck me off).
I know what it is like follow training methods that did not feel right to me but I thought that was what I was supposed to do.
I know what it is like to have huge goals to ride and show at high levels but just not know how to get there.
I know what it is like to be terrified trail riding.
Heck, I know what it is like to be terrified of a horse on the ground.
I know what it is like to overcome bodily injury from an accident (I was hit by a car going 60 mph on a bicycle when I was a kid)
I know what it is like to have such bad anxiety, I couldn't hardly get out of the driveway, non the less finish my pattern confidently at the horse show.
I know what it is like to have depression so bad I couldn't get out of bed for 6 months.
I know what it is like to have life stuff happen out of your control, where you have no time to ride or follow your own dreams and goals.
I know what it is like for riding and training horses to be sooo easy when I was young and then to start back after having kids and not knowing what the heck to do.
I know what it is like for rhythm and timing to not come naturally to me.
I know what it is like to have a huge dream with my horse, but let her sit, untrained because I was afraid, I wouldn't train her "right" or "mess her up".
I know what it feels like to have the voices in my head screaming that I am a failure, I am not “good enough” or as good as others, or I will never fit in, that I am ugly fat or stupid, only to realize the horrible voice was my own.
I know what is like to stand on the rail watching other riders and wishing I was as good as they are, paralyzed by comparing myself to others.
The list goes on and on!!
Why am I telling you this?
What does it have to do with you and your horse?
Because I also know what it is like to get to the other side of all those things...
And as I learned to transform my relationship with my horses, my life started to change too.
It all started with a decision to find clarity.
I made big crazy goals
and have started one by one seeing them happen.
I traveled to France to study with the amazing,
Frederick Pignon and Magali Delgado
the original creators of Cavalia.
And then attended a clinic with them in North Carolina,
the following summer.
I am closer than ever to my kids and mother.
My marriage has been restored.
I have tools to battle my depression and anxiety,
and it is no longer who I am.
I have co-created and built
to almost 85,000 fans all over the world
I have co-created Horses-U (now HorseGirl.me)
And as it relates to horses, (which is why we are here!)
I feel I have a love story with each of the 5 of my horses,
I have a sense of confidence with each of them,
although they are each so different,
I have 5 safe, willing, trusted partners.
And when I get a big, hairy audacious goal,
that is out of my realm of expertise,
like showing in a new event,
or chasing a cow, I know my horse
will be there for me.
And when I feel unsure,
I know when to ask for help
and know there is nothing wrong with that.
Ok, now that you have a sense of where I came from,
and that whatever it is you are going through
I probably have been there too!
Now you know my personal secrets,
let me give you 3 secrets
that will help you with
any problems or obstacles
you are facing with your horse today!
(Actually these secrets are pillars
to build a solid relationship with your horse,
and have a lot of fun doing it...
warning you just might change your life in the process,
I know mine did)
p.s. If I can do this, you can too.
There are 3 main components of every, single great horse & rider relationship...
Secret #1 Have you ever wondered how a little kid with no horse training knowledge whatsoever could get her horse to do anything for her she could dream up, and then still have that same horse come running to the gate when ever she called?
A sweet child’s pureness of heart,
belief in herself,
just plain old fashioned love
can top any horse training method.
If we can cut through all of our junk,
find the faith to believe in ourselves
& the courage to love without fear again,
we can do the same.
Working on your confidence
(defined as “the feeling or belief
that one can rely on someone or something;
will improve anything you want to do with your horse,
faster than anything else you can do.
Hard to swallow sometimes,
but a great horse and human relationship and bond,
has just as much to do with you as it does your horse.
Have you found yourself nodding along
when you hear a trainer say,
"This horse has a human problem..."?
yeah, me too, and then I thought,
“what does that mean and what the heck do I do about it!”
I have found 5 areas,
that if you will work on both on yourself
and your horse
that your relationship will soar
and things you are struggling with will start to disappear.
Well, I am not going to leave them a mystery!
And you won’t be shocked by what they are either…
you are a smart girl you know this!
It is plain ole common sense.
But within each of the areas, I can teach you a thing or 2.
Here are the 5 Areas
- Mental Strategies
- Balance & Coordination
- Increase Your Feel, Rhythm & Timing
- Develop Strength & Flexibility
- Increase Your Rider Awareness & Intuition
I made a video that teaches all of these key areas
and even gives you specific exercises to work on,
for both you and your horse.
You will find that even if you only worked on one of these areas,
you will start to trust in yourself
that you can handle anything
that comes up with your horse,
and then the magic happens…
your horse will start to trust you too.
Got it? Make sense?
Now close this box and jump over to Pillar #2
Secret #2 Adding the "extra" to ordinary horsemanship
& your chosen discipline is the key to a developing
a trusted, willing, safe horse
(no matter what level you aspire to).
A lot of trainers call this a method,
there are TONS of methods out in the world today
and some really good ones.
But here’s the secret to the secret, for the most part
(and I had to spend $1000s of dollars to travel
to France to learn it for myself, but I am just going to tell you)
... there is not right or wrong in handling and training your horse,
but what truly matters for our success as equestrians is learn how
we need to "be".
You've been told things like
"make the wrong thing hard, make the right thing easy".
Not to cut down the master horse whispers,
but for most of us,
that requires a lot of thought out process,
that we can't handle on the fly.
How about create mutual respect & partnership?
It's not about what your horse should be doing
or what you should be doing.
And it's not about force.
It's about finding the right way to ask your horse,
forming relationship and partnership.
I believe when you add the extra...
to ordinary horsemanship
or any "method"
you create extraordinary partnership.
Giving your horse a voice and a choice.
Ok! Let's move on to pillar #3, so close this box and click on the next one 🙂
The 3rd secret to great horsemanship (and I will keep this one short, because I could talk about it for hours) is to take life by the reins and get it in control.
I call this "Riding Your Wild Horse".
It doesn’t matter how much we know
about all this horses,
when we don’t have time
or the bandwidth to go do it!
If your fear or failure,
or of getting hurt, of judgement
or anything else is stopping you in your tracks
what I can teach you about riding
won't help you
until we tackle the fear.
When you get focused on what you want
break it down into a plan,
& then get out there and live it
more magic happens.
And you get to be the sizzle that is you.
And as Rachell Hollis says,
"We are not going to have a dream, we are going to have a plan"
AND by now you know, I have a gift for you on that too!
Two more things, before I step off my soapbox, I need you to know.
- I believe in you,
I know you by your heart,
we have the same horse girl DNA
and I know you can do anything
you set out to do
- I believe in the power of horses to change our lives,
no matter what level we are at,
everyday is a new adventure
being with our horses when we allow it to be.
So how can I help you today?! Pick an area below and let’s get started…